untitled.

i need to add something, since it's been too long. but my thoughts are uncollected as of late, and i don't wish to type ambiguous conjecture with no definition. so perhaps i will leave it at this:

i would like you, whoever you may be, to question your passion with the following in mind. passion is not a hobby. it is not an opinion. it is not flippant, or selfish, or subtle. passion is an idea, or faith, that one holds so close to their existence that they are willing to lose everything, if only to realize what it is. passion is something which burns so strongly that everyone feels its warmth, while simultaneously being a part of its fire. passion is something that encompasses all life, not just your life.

so, what is your passion?

the suburbs.

arcade fire has a new album, and you should listen to it... all of it. like, now.

tonight.

tonight i'm thinking of you.
you hijacked my thoughts and i don't think i mind, tonight.
but will this be it?
just thoughts of you, one night (tonight) in my mind.
would you think of me too, tonight or another?
will some night bring thoughts of me to your mind?
i don't think i'd mind.
even if it were sometime, like tonight.

tonight, if we think of each other,
the thought comes to mind that i'd like to keep thinking of you,
beyond tonight.
if you don't think you'd mind,
we can just keep thinking of each other,
the way i think of you tonight.
do you think you'd mind?
think about it, tonight,
then let me know you've made your mind,
whether you think we can keep thinking of each other,
on any other night.


tonight i'll keep thinking of you.
i'm wondering, what's on your mind?
is it thoughts of me that you're thinking, tonight?
i think i know i shouldn't think like this.
i can't think what's on your mind.
i think that you'd mind, even just tonight.
but i'm thinking, tonight,
and the thoughts are of me, thinking of you.
i think i thought you wouldn't mind.
do you mind?

and tonight, if i think of you,
the thought comes to mind that you might think of me too,
if only for a night.
but when i think of you tonight,
i think i want to keep thinking of you,
beyond tonight.
do you think you'd mind, thinking beyond tonight?
or more than just thinking,
for more than just tonight.
i'm thinking of more than thinking,
thinking of more than tonight.

entering the world of warcraft.

yeah, that's right, this is a post regarding the online sensation, and instant geek insignia that is wow. that's what we call it, cause that's what it is, wow. previous to my purchase of the basic game (no expansions... yet) i had succumbed a year earlier, to what i believe was a two week trial that i played maybe five or six evening sessions. i don't think i even leveled my character to double digits. if you don't understand, don't worry, you will. unless of course you wish to move on, in which case fuck... i mean, thank you for stopping by and have a lovely day. now, for the rest of you thinking, "hey, what the hell is this all about? i don't want to read a stupid post on internet dwelling, social rejects", yet when i say, "but maybe you do!" you suddenly feel a strong sense of curiosity, compelling you to know just what transpires when millions of geeks co-exist in a virtual world of complete fantasy. truth is i can't really tell you, from a social perspective. i don't understand three-quarters of what i read in the chat window, and even now that i have finally joined a guild (player created team), there isn't really much going on most of the time. perhaps now is a good time to explain...

in the world of warcraft you adopt a character, or an avatar (not that avatar) who exists in a certain "realm" of the ever evolving lands and dimensions, known as azeroth. your realm is relative to your location, so you're playing with others who are in a general radius of you, albeit a large one. now, like any good fantasy, there are two main waring factions: the horde v. the alliance. each faction consists of several races that have bonded through (almost too obviously) their set of spiritual and social beliefs. the alliance members include (not limited to) dwarfs, gnomes, night elves and humans, while the horde has orcs, tauren, trolls and the undead. each race has unique abilities and starting cities, which are designed to help your character level (or evolve) early on, based on both race exclusive storylines, and your chosen class within that race. your class is essentially your battle designation, and there are several to choose from, though not every class is available to each race. basically it breaks down to varying forms of damage dealing soldiers and magic using healers, and those somewhere in between. as an example i'll describe my own character, zisou, who is a night elf hunter that just reached level sixty. as a hunter, zisou's specialty is long-ranged weapons such as bows, crossbows or guns, while his close combat attack is a two-handed axe. in wow, all skills are learned and there is little limit as to how many skills you can know. for instance, zisou is capable of equipping other weaponry like swords, or maces, or throwing axes/daggers, etc. but once you "learn" most skills, no matter what level you may be, you start with zero experience in said skill, and have to fight/practice your way to an equalization between level and skill. so, if i decided to equip a sword let's say, at level sixty, i would have to travel backward to an area designed for players leveled roughly thirty, or less, and fight enemies of about the same. it's a fickle bitch (i think i've typed that somewhere else...).

at any rate, the complexities are cannily real(ish), and this is heightened even more by blizzard's unwavering updates, patches, information, support and most of all, patience. all that i mentioned in the previous paragraph is only the base game, there are two expansions (the burning crusade, and wrath of the lich king) that have been available for some time, and a third (cataclysm) due for release relatively soon. with these, players can access more races and classes, new lands/dimensions along with new quests, and new items/weapons from new enemies. needless to say, this game (like any good online game) takes a lot of work to keep it running relatively smoothly, and also safely. while gamers may care about their characters and don't wish to lose their efforts to a virus, or other means, what is really at stake is the "real" money and personal information that flows into the company (let's not forget, they've also got starcraft and, to a lesser extent, diablo). but these folks are the best in the business at nearly everything they do, from what i've seen, and they've generally got your back with security. most times someone has a problem, i assume, is because they're naive enough to link to the spam messages that rarely pop up in the chat window, promising you free upgrades or warning you of bogus issues. gullibility too, is a fickle bitch.

but regardless of any of this, the thought that draws me to this game is it's environment; it's world. to put it quite simply, the lands of wow are everything i ever wanted real life to be, from the ages of about five to thirteen (damn you alcohol, you shattered my dreams). seriously though, including all the amazing characters already listed, there are also various giant beasts, including but not limited to: felines, canines, gorillas, insects, aliens, dragons, dinosaurs, hydras, centaurs, spirits, ghouls, goblins, elementals (wood, stone, fire or water creatures), pirates, machines, sasquatches (sort of), not to mention kings, queens, sorcerers, knights, demons and so many more. and again, i only have the base game! i have little idea of what waits beyond the limits of azeroth, but i imagine it's going to be epic the whole way up. i reckon i might just find that imaginative kid i loved to be, before puberty, the education system, and social retardation took full effect. maybe we should all be playing wow, or better yet, use it's core idea/format as an application to design scenarios for our own world, before just rushing into our next disaster. we may never design a "perfect" world, yet better alternatives to ours are not just reasonable, but necessary and achievable. make life, not warcraft.

oh, what a world.

okay... in lieu of recent events, i'm going to make an attempt at expressing myself with more of a positive, and pleasant demeanor. to do this i have decided to ask more questions, even if they may fall folly to rhetoric. i feel this will help to keep my finger from pointing in any individual direction, and rather, open my own ability to communicate concern, inspiration, or at the very least, my thought process. so let's get started! 

first, the big question: what are we all thinking? seriously. very soon there could easily be ten billion people on our relatively small, but absolutely marvelous planet. isn't about time we started to communicate with each other a little better? and to that end, be ridiculously, maybe painfully honest with ourselves and everyone else. we're all either fighting for some fractured shard of a much greater puzzle, or we're ignoring any sense of responsibility to bring the whole picture into focus. and for what? for a tiny, individual piece of existence that could never exist on its own. for brief moments of experience that connect sense, emotion and memory to various temporary expressions, or circumstances, out of context. there is more than that, and we all know it. from the depressed to the ignorant, from the oppressed to the deified. but we have to move beyond knowing, believing or hoping, we have to make it real. right now we use the conceptual like everything else, exhausting it of only the resources that create commercial, or exclusive items and ideas. what's worse, so many inventions or discoveries are kept from the majority of us, sometimes for generations. whether excused with straight denial, or sold to the public through methodically precise, behaviour conditioning marketing schemes, our access and understanding of truth is manipulated and contrived. that's just no way to build a thriving, surviving civilization of co-existence. it's time to rework society, and to dig through the mounds of bull-shit our brief history has managed to pile on.

as an obvious example of a modern-age lie to ignorance to acceptance situation, i turn to the same substance millions, if not billions of people turn to at some time or another: alcohol. now, obviously i've been know to drink from time to time, and some of those times i've been known to drink too much, or too fast. i apologize to any person who has ever had to witness, take care of, or experience my usually very public, sick scene. this being said, i've hardly felt a strong passion for alcohol, and i generally drink to punish myself. don't get me wrong, i'm talking about getting drunk, binging and the likes. i very much enjoy a little whiskey in my coffee, or a cold beer, but we were misinformed then lied to, and now alcohol flows disregarded with significant social acceptance, poisoning our civilization with it's disillusioned sense of euphoria in an abundance that reeks of disrespect. this the simple fact folks: alcohol makes people retarded. i'm not fucking kidding, or using colourful language, it quite literally retards your brain. if you don't understand the actual definition of retard please don't be offended just yet, and click the link for an online definition. or, if you don't trust my choice of dictionary, you're welcome to search yourself. but please, no urban dictionary or wikipedia, you'd just be proving my point. i do not condone using this word in a derogatory sense, everybody is retarded in some way or another, as in we have obstacles, ailments, accidents, defects and the like, which retard us from a veritable smorgasbord of different things in our lives. but alcohol makes it so much worse! especially when it's the fuel of most people's social lives.

while i realize it may seem biased, ponder a different scenario, or an alternate history of modern social behaviour, in which marijuana was the dominant social lubricant. pot, which does NOT KILL BRAINCELLS (but alcohol DOES), would have lead to a radically different modern norm. we would have thinkers, instead of drinkers; high folks, instead of low folks; inspiration, instead of depression; lovers, instead of fighters. but we were lied to, so by now we have this barely walking mess of self-induced retardation, and all her friends, followers or fans. ask yourself, do i even want the existence of the possibility that any child i may have could end up like this, or worse? if you're answer is "yes," "whatever," or "i don't care"... please, never ever procreate. think about it, honestly, we do not want this for our children, or theirs and so on. and if human life has become so complex, complicated, stressful, and the majority of daily routines so confining that we feel the compulsion to actively retard our unique minds, then don't you think it's about fucking time to make, demand and expect a completely truth based, faith driven experience for our capable and curious little species? lets have faith in the existence of life, not god, not an afterlife and not economies, politics or celebrity. real faith, in real life and it's real possibilities. refuse to accept the pitfalls of mediocracy's simple complacency, refuse to believe our existence is essentially insignificant, because it most certainly is not. true, we are fragile, temporary, fallible, etc. but this planet is the ONLY home to life, that we know of, and we are its highest form of able intelligence, for better or worse. that part's up to each of us, literally, everyone of us... there's a long road before us, but i hope a society of these will soon be in our rear-view mirrors:

something to think about...

there was this wave way out on the ocean.
he was just racing along having a great time.
sun light glinting, spray just flying.
until one day he look ahead,
and he saw wave after wave in front of him crashing on the beach.
and he got scared.
and this older wave in front of him said,
"i know exactly what your problem is.
you've been having so much fun being a wave,
that you forgot you're really just part of the ocean."

*not an original story, but something to ponder and pass on.

and now for something completely random...

the economy. (or: how to replace one dogma with another!)

i'm sure a lot of us followed updates on the G8/G20 summit, recently held in toronto. watching television in canada, our news programs have been inundated with images and reports from "the centre of the universe," or "torontonomo bay" as some locals humourously dubbed the highly policed city. but as i sit here wondering what angle to accept, what perspective to properly interpret and convey, i feel lost. i feel confused, furious, frightened, ignorant and helpless... but most succinctly, i feel lost. i don't understand the anarchists, i don't understand the protesters, i don't understand the bystanders, i don't understand the media, i don't understand the leaders and i don't understand the agendas. i don't know whether to believe this or that, and i have no idea what goals are even being set. i do not see how, or where the (global) economy is progressing, and i'm continually informed with conflicting beliefs as to whether it truly is. i do not know why it is revered, and feared so strongly... it is a broken system, fueled by the principles of division, hate, fear and possession. i don't know who could ever want this for anyone, but if you do, seek help.

what i do know is this: this shit ain't working. all of it... well, the vast majority of it is a terrible calamity, a running practical joke, which has been allowed to fester due to plain old gullibility. like so many things before it, all it took was the right amount of people interpreting a contrived idea in the wrong way, and presto! a whole new, modern form of dogmatic law emerges, allowing a different brand of ruling class other than just aristocrats and royalty, while keeping those desperate enough to be ruled nestled in complacency or worse, propagated oppression. and yet, it is the complacent and oppressed who ultimately hold the key to success for such a small number of greed (or fear) driven tyrants. the rich and powerful feed off the unwillingness of majorities to take any action against them, as long as they're insulated with all sorts of things to balance out the individual volume of injustice each perceives or experiences throughout a life. those leading our species into the future are leading us into oblivion, and judging by most of their lifestyles and payrolls, we the people either don't seem to care, or display our dissent with useless and sometimes harmful expression.

no matter how we protest now, it is turned into propaganda and profits. from headlines to merchandise, from insurance claims to arrests, no matter how you fight the powers that be, most just wind up with more power, and this is because the people can no longer afford to fight. in our short history, humans have proven two things: first, that when it comes to fighting for our survival, we will imagine and create whatever necessary to ensure we do so; the second is that, when the fighting stops, we imagine and create whatever we can to keep our minds from the fear of fighting. today, we find ourselves fighting fear, and fighting ourselves because of it. we no longer have the danger of natural predators that our ancestors had, but we still have the fear of danger... so we find threats in anything uncommon to our daily existence, and fight to overcome them. this is futile beyond belief though, as we cannot actually win a fight against ourselves, only perpetuate an idea of fear that is borderline insane. the only winners when we fight amongst ourselves are tragedy and death, and they only root for themselves.

what to do? isn't obvious? if fighting is out, it's time to work. it's time to truly be involved in our world. to do this, we can longer fear or fight each other, but focus to find cures, harmony, justice, possibilities and answers that help each of us. we have to respect, demand and work for our equality, we have to expect and accept what truths we realize from our existence, working collectively toward an intelligent, intricate process of evolution that renders a balance of survival, progress and disciplined perceptions of both our emotions and environments. no more complacency, no more indulgence, no more fear, no more of this...

i realize this has all been written before, and it will be written again... which makes the behaviour insane by definition, though that seems to be the pattern emerging here anyway. but in spite of everything i just wrote, i believe at this time both peace and force need to be simultaneously utilized, in order to accomplish the growth we deserve as a species. i'm talking of course about a revolution! but nothing like the above scene, unless it were completely and absolutely necessary, which i truly hope it wouldn't be. no, instead there needs to be an intelligent revolution, an educated and precise revolution of global proportion. no provocation, no hysterics, nothing but the truth and respect each of us deserve... given we abide these notions ourselves. we have to deserve and demand our inclusion to progress and information, not be sold reality and wait for the few to create a future that destroys us.

li[f]e.

please, if you have a moment... watch me.

 well, what do you think? it's a man named sage francis (clearly), and his song "the best of times" (obviously!) from his new album li(f)e, which represents "life is just a lie, with an 'f' in it," a thought provoking lyric excerpt from his song "the cure" off the album hope, released by non-prophets (sage w/ joe beats) in 2003.

if you have never heard the words of sage francis, i highly suggest you set out to do so, and since you're here i thought i might help with a little introduction. as a solo artist, sage has but four studio albums, each of which is a near perfect exhibition of both the musical and personal evolution of a single, concerned and actively intelligent man, and his perception of the world around him. starting with his album personal journals (2002), featuring songs like "broken wings" and "crack pipes," sage shares intimate experiences with his listener, serenading the pain we all feel in life's tragedies with beautiful words and melodies that ease the discomfort of emotional, or physical trauma through the power of empathy.

sage then followed this debut masterpiece with, a healthy distrust (2005). on this second album, ripe with tracks like "sea lion," "escape artist" and "slow down gandhi," sage shifts away from the personal strife of existence, and takes aim at the ignorance, delusions and hypocrisy passed on to developing young minds from those expected to set examples, and shape the world.

before i continue, i would like to admit that sage's third studio album human the death dance (2007), is one i have heard very little from, and what i have listen to has only been in passing. however, if songs like "water line" and "civil obedience" are any indication, i would guess the entire composition is, at the very least, on par with sage's previous well crafted, well written and well intentioned works. and i'm sure, like the others, it follows the uncanny evolution of an individual's desire to create, contrasted by an understanding of impermanence.

and now we've reached sage's latest album, the one i wrote of in my first paragraph, li(f)e (2010). at the end of last month, i was finally fortunate enough to attend a show at the biltmore featuring sage (w/ free moral agents), and his hip-hop-poet counterpart, b. dolan. it was truly amazing and inspiring, and something i hope to experience again very soon. sage had never played vancouver before, so the audience was treated to a collection of songs ranging his entire career, finding a near perfect balance of fan-favourites and brand new material, which live audiences generally seem to disprove of. not on this occasion tho. by the end of the night i could see no faces of disappointment, no whispers of discontent, and no sign of disapproval. sage's words have always seemed to have a way of making everyone who hears them open, content and aware, but having witnessed the spectacle of his performance, i realize now that it is not simply the words, but the man behind them that accomplishes such collective unification.

environments.

recently one of my very dear friends informed me of her inspiration to create an independent zine, focused on the local scenes in and around the okanagan area of british columbia. having just relocated there to pursue an education in all things audio, she quickly recognized an absence of the local youth and/or counter-culture publications that one finds in a metropolis, which aim to connect, inform and showcase artists, musicians, writers, film makers and progressive thinkers, young and old. she also asked if i wouldn't mind her cherry-picking from my posts, which of course, i wouldn't. so if you happen to be reading this as you sip coffee on a park bench in kelowna, then she clearly has succeeded, and i can consider myself a published writer (...a man can dream). in addition to unfettered access to my blog, she wondered if i might type an article focused on the environment, hence the title. but this is a request to which my reply may not meet an acceptably "green" frame of reference. she knows this, and i don't plan to disappoint.


while i am all for sustainable energy, clean production and recycling, and generally better preservation of earth, a slight difference in interpretation of the word environmentalism, tends to set my perspective worlds apart from the modern planet-saver. the difference, for those of you unfamiliar with my previous online rants, is that while most of my peers strive to save our planet, i choose to acknowledge the very long term futility in this endeavour, hoping instead that our strange species continues to evolve and explore beyond our natal, terra firma. but to do so, we will need to reach a working understanding of the environments that allow us a continued existence; a harmony of all possible knowledge within the probable (and necessary) constructs of biological, chemical, physical, and possible dimensions in existence. suffice to say, this may take us awhile, and it's unlikely to ever happen if our current way of living is left to run its course. this ecosystem we rely on does not take "accidents" like oil spills that are allowed to bleed for sixty days, lightly. in fact, every horrendous act committed by civilized humans, has been an attack on the very ground that offers us sanctuary. don't be fooled though, earth has a way of shrugging that dirt off its shoulder. it also has a hell of a lot bigger things to worry about, roaming through a vast chaotic vacuum, hanging in the delicate balance of an orbit that depends on the stability and particular mass of our beloved star, in a galaxy whirling through an ever expansive, almost impossible spanning of space. to use more of jay-z's colourful lyricism, earth's got ninety-nine problems, but we ain't one. (hit me!)


but should the earth again become volatile, and possibly uninhabitable, we would most definitely have a problem. and so, we need to focus on and explore the wonderful elements that create environments which sustain life, and there is currently no other evidence of these miraculous circumstances, nowhere else we would better learn from. there is also nowhere else with resources we can obtain and utilize, and there is a limited amount of those on our humble home. obviously we need to be smart about this, and awareness is imperative to our situation. immediate changes need to made, changes to both our energy and fuel sources, as well as consumption. petroleum products have long since outlived their necessity, and the continued use of these detrimental resources, while proven alternatives such as solar, wind and wave remain grossly overlooked and brushed aside by an insane majority, illustrates how commonplace our unwillingness to demand the absolute best quality of life for ourselves and future generations, has become. we placidly accept bogus ideas like, "this is how life works," or "it's god's will," without stopping for a moment to think for ourselves and realize that all of this is truly what each of us makes it. from the individual's own day-to-day lifetime, to the entire history of our conscious and civilized species, nearly everything we consider integral and vital to our existence has been a direct result of human's overwhelmingly creative imagination. but the core to our desire of creation has been replaced by the lust for consumption, and a longing for complacent comfort, rendering our willpower ignored and essentially left for dead.


every generation of the modern era has faced a reoccurring dilemma in making healthy, sustainable choices, and for the most part they've consistently failed to do so. it's each of our individual responsibilities to raise progressive, sustainable efforts that benefit both the present and future, while honoring the past with the consideration it deserves. for those who toss this forward type of thinking away, and worry only of the material world that's been created to occupy our lifelong thirst for information, let me put it to you like this: there's far more to gain from an assuredly promising future, than there is if no one's around to appreciate the value of it. the time has come to expect more out of the possibilities before us all, and to demand such from ourselves and everyone else, while not letting sympathetic addictions (bleeding hearts), greedy ignorance (corporate america), or even mass delusions (religious fanatics) guide our minds' awareness and perception. we do not need prophets, leaders, celebrities, idols and heroes, we need to do this ourselves and together. otherwise, any possible great-great-great descendants of ours are going to be debating and mulling over very similar problems to those we face today, the only difference being that they'll have less time to fix them. i sincerely hope that things progress for the better, as much as i hope to see this in print... on recycled paper, of course.

atheism.

many people interpret the title idea, an idea very near and dear to my heart, with hesitation or worse, misrepresentation. i hope to set the record straight on much of the ignorance ingrained by atheism's misconceptions. true, these opinions of mine will be just that, opinion, but the very essence and reason behind freewill is not to simply realize for oneself the outdated (yet classic) meaning of right versus wrong, it is to go beyond such childish extremes and find meaning to all the in between of the probable, the possible and the impossible. to put it a little more succinctly, we need to collectively discover and decide on the best logical information available in our existence, and truly believe in it. this is improbable when most of our current rudimentary truths are allowed to be filed as an opinion.

...and most aren't very popular opinions, making them difficult to sell to a consumer population, who believe themselves to live through an insignificant, temporary existence, which holds no influence or connection to a seemingly imaginary past, present and future. this allows followers of the economy to convince each other that leading any form of "large" individual life, is time spent sufficiently enough. but a lot of people "give back," right? ...sure, but most fail to make a real, forceful, collective contribution to true, future-forward progress. this is due to the fact that today's vast majority of "influential" citizens are less equipped with knowledge and rationale than the folks who follow them. it's the deaf leading the blind... but that's another topic.

the other major populous of vehement opinion holders are those who subscribe to any form of organized religion, or earthbound faith. i will not debate the existence of god(s), the fact that i am an atheist clearly proves that i am not convinced by the arguments or evidence, and never will be. atheism does not need to disprove religious ideology, that is the task of science, truth and reality. atheism is simply the collective of scattered individuals, who have overcome civilization's willful ignorance, and our childish fear of life without a conscious, omnipotent creator that rewards and punishes.

but atheism is not anarchism, nihilism, despotism or satanism either. of all the isms contrived by a human mind, atheism is the only idea with no individual agenda, and no specific qualification requirements... other than realizing our true, unified reality. i do not direct this sentiment solely at the religious folk, but everyone who has yet to see the real, my fellow atheists included. the only difference between believers and non, should be just that. when you stop believing in god, it is not an allowance to become a self-serving, doomsday disciple who runs their mouth about the triviality of existence, and the death of meaning. our existence has no less importance with the absence of a creator, on the contrary, the movement beyond such archaic beliefs is yet another pivotal moment of mankind's brief, but rapid evolutionary gamut.

to be honest, atheism is not designed to be a "belief" system. the absence of god is not an idea to rally behind, but an obvious truth that simply needs to be realized. this leaves out an area of the human condition known as faith, and faith (not god) is truly what has kept our people alive and thriving on this lone planet. unfortunately, faith is almost always misinterpreted, misrepresented or misunderstood, and has been since our ancient ancestors decided to give names to the complex emotional, mental and physical genetic desires that linger, to some degree, in every living entity. i will not get into the myriad ways we have managed to misconstrue these understandably confusing growing pangs, or our incredibly imaginative, but detrimental ways of expressing such fables, instead it is my hope you will realize these fallacies yourself. i will say, however, that this idea of faith, or sense of hope that most of us share is not futile and is not some sort of evolutionary mistake, it is simply the result of life being conscious enough to realize the contradiction that arises when intelligence seeks everlasting harmony in a mortal form, on a temporary plane of existence. like all our other extraordinary traits, our faith is something we must utilize properly, another perspective we must learn to focus.

so what, you ask, is worth our faith? we are. life is. existence. our future generations and theirs. life has molded a near perfect form of all it's abilities, but it is up to us to decide to recognize and use them correctly. every day should be lived in wonder, respect, understanding and faith for our past, present and future, and all of our hope should be placed in finding sustainable harmony in our existence and evolution. whether it be on this planet, another or voyaging through space, we all need to have faith in biological survival. currently, the only suitable ism we should wholeheartedly embrace (on a global scale) is humanism... but, that too, is another post.

event extravaganza!

 

for those of you who happen to live in the vancouver area, my good friend jared (uncle jerry) has organized an event of art, music, laughter and friendly people, which i will be fortunate enough to m.c. all proceeds/donations are being used as jared's required donation to participate in a two day bicycle ride to seattle, which raises funds for the b.c. cancer foundation and cancer research.

the benefit will take place thursday, may 13th at the chapel arts, and will feature a diverse range of acts and discussions, as well as the possibility of a silent auction on some local art. there will be alcohol for sale. doors are at 7pm and the party will surge on for a few hours, so bring yourself with $10 for a good cause, and whatever buddies you can muster with their own $10 (unless you're going to cover them, how nice of you!) and come have a great time with friends new and old.

if you can't make it to us but still want to make your contribution, you can do so at http://va10.conquercancer.ca jared's participant # is : 241964-4

live long and prosper!

lying lies lie lied.

a lot of speculation surrounds the area of our condition known as human drama (a.k.a. tragedy). the consequences of succumbing to either the justification of inflicting, or a passive acceptance of subjecting any human, or geographic group of humans to any form of tragedy, has proven to be both devastating and detested. but it still happens. every single day, tragedy is doled like it's an inescapable destiny for some purely unfortunate individuals, yet allegedly most of us citizens in the western and european nations, can't stand to observe injustice in our world. whether it be war, poverty, starvation, disease, persecution, prejudice, genocide, assaults, oppression or even environmental deterioration, the fortunate folk constantly have some reason to bitch.

where am i going with this? is this some paranoia ridden diatribe, trying to convince you everything you've ever been told was a lie? maybe. that depends on your perspective at the moment of reading this. or maybe just your willingness to step outside media, with corporate and/or social propaganda, for only a moment. if you can, then i will continue. if you cannot, then i hope you return when you feel ready to do so... okay, you're still here right? i'll get to my point now, in case the title wasn't clear enough. it is humankind's propensity to obscure, distort, glorify, or spin our true experience, for whatever reasons, which keeps our species from understanding, unification, peace, love and, obviously, truth. lies retard our evolution, while breaking down the benefit and possibility of our astounding communication abilities, even the innocent, or "little white," lies. let me be perfectly clear though, i am not exempt from committing such indecencies, and i believe very few conscious people indeed are. like all of our bad habits, we tend to solve this issue with a few simple and utterly useless words: that's life. or c'est la vie, for you kitschy bastards.

but no, it most certainly fucking isn't life. lies are a part of being human, and humans are a part of life. but like humans, life is the sum of all its parts... again, to be clear, neither humans nor life is solely dictated by a single part of their wholes. that's called influence, and yes, different parts have different influences, but their existence and portion is dictated ultimately by the whole. we decide our behaviour. yes, sometimes this requires a conscious effort to do so because there are genetic grooves each of us tend to express, but genes are pliant blueprints, not decisive stories set in stone. and they grow with each generation, for better or worse. and the worst thing for human history, past, present and future, is to be misinformed at any level of communication. this isn't to say we need to subscribe to answers available immediately, or to make any current truth concrete, but to reject new and old lies, and demand to the point of expecting relative, relevant truth as honest as it may possibly be perceived. this, perceptive honesty, will take effort and time, but with a healthy seed it will grow. trust me.

the bull-shit game has been established as such: either government or private groups fund research and investigations designed to uncover "truths" in various aspects of life (especially human) processes and occurrences, which is then distributed by our governments which to try to keep as much information from their public as they can, while releasing as little as they must... but they release this insignificant amount of info to other private or government branches of media, which then place their own spin on the report, if they report it at all, in order to promote a bull-shit agenda that only benefits an extreme minority, and more often than not damns a vast majority to an unnecessary amount of strife and tragedy... then, we the people, take the scraps of scattered morsels that remain, and turn them around with our own lazy embellishments to entertain or disgust our friends and family... who then relate incorrect information and more embellishment... and so on, and so forth until no one believes anything and we all fall to something ignored. we need a unified agenda, for the good of earthbound life, and to reject the idea that individual agendas could ever truly accomplish what human existence, with evolution, is really capable of.

in current culture there has been a lot of talk about socialism, or of government being too involved with social affairs, and many are conflicted, confused or outright hypocritical about what this actually means for society. we get so caught up in the flash of conflict and debate, that it seems impossible to look beyond and see what's truly going on behind designated distractions. this is nearly an exact opposite to what true socialism invokes as a perspective for human politics. instead of being in the dark, or worse, being lied to, each individual would be involved directly with their societies, and would be privy to the same information, utilities, and treatment as everyone else. e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e else. so this leaves really only two reason (excuses) someone may possibly have with such structure:
1. you are less evolved than the rest of us, and you actually still believe that you, or any other person or even group of people, are intrinsically more valuable than anyone else. i hope i am the last to tell you, that you are not.
2. being that involved in your own world and fellow kind is "too much work," and your own mental laziness is more powerful a proposition than ending unnecessary human confusion and suffering for millions to billions of people. either way, you're just an asshole.

why is a social government better than a government which panders to private companies or corporations? because no matter what anyone ever tries to tell you, whether it's politicians, lawyers, judges, police officers or even your resident know-it-all, government in its very nature, is accountable (lawfully, economically, medically, etc.) to us, the people which its entire creation and existence are based upon. in case you can't bridge the gap, private is the antonym for public. companies don't care about anyone, and they are almost completely unaccountable to we the people. all companies want is our recognition, our money and to control what we come to believe is needed. yet, it's people behind these companies, and they have become wrapped in this perverse course to a future that not even they would ever truly want. these are usually very intelligent individuals, who are either raised in hopeless greed, or become bitter then desensitized as a result of an inability to cope with overwhelming ignorance and pain. but what we are all seeking is comfort, and to some that's peace, to others money or power, but all of it is an attempt to be comfortable. this longing is actually a far greater picture than most are capable or willing to admit, because the true root of it is so intricate and encompassing we rarely see through the pattern. because life does not appear to constantly take directions we see fit, most of us find ourselves acting like evolutionary children, taking solace in petty, selfish endeavours for mindless indulgence of immediate comforts. the privilege of true and universal comfort takes an absolute shit-load of rational thought and even more painstaking work, but again, trust me when i say, it is most certainly fucking worth it.

i'm in love with mary-jane.

marijuana. pot. reefer. green. weed. grass. ganja. cannabis. whatever name you use, you know what it is. you undoubtedly know that people indulge this controversial substance, in various forms, nearly all over the globe. what you may not know (though i'm sure many do... i hope), is that it's controversy is rooted in hypocritical agendas & political fabrication. quite literally, nearly all information taught by north american governments, from the 1950's through to only the last decade or so was based on intentionally skewed evidence & bold faced lies.

ever told that pot kills brain cells? i remember that one. what i didn't know (until recently) was that this "fact" was recorded by government appointed scientists, and only after placing gas masks on chimps & subjecting them to long exposure intervals of straight marijuana smoke. this means, that during periods with the mask on the animals brains were receiving very little (if any) oxygen. and for those of you that don't know, prolonged oxygen depletion causes brain cells to die. in severe cases, even mental retardation. in fact, some preliminary observations show that elements of cannabis may actually stimulate cell growth in brains. but good luck receiving a grant to do that study, and if you do, best of luck getting your government to listen.

how about that it makes you lazy, stupid, and essentially a menace to society? the first covers basically anyone who doesn't seek, or desire more than three days of strenuous physical activity per week (or the equivalent of). if you're a lazy person, then that's an obstacle you alone can conquer. and if you're stupid, then you're stupid. pot heightens the sense of enjoyment you feel, in nearly any activity. so if you're stupid and lazy... maybe you should resolve at least one of those issues before inhaling. as for menace to society, i have to call the bluff. the entire stereotype of the chronic toker is a peaceful, goofy, sometimes paranoid or neurotic, but always benevolent character, who wants nothing more than a bag of chips. no one has a story of the menacingly angry pothead, no one. now, if you apply alcohol to any of these accusations and you've really got something, but i'm not here to bash booze... that's another post.

oh, oh, oh! pot leads to cancer?... um, nope. you may have been told something as ridiculous as one joint being the equivalent to five cigarettes (sidetrack: if you've also been told that each cigarette takes five minutes off your life, that stat is simply a representation of the average time it takes for the average smoker to suck back one cigarette, not minutes off your death-clock). the truth is, marijuana is a denser substance than tobacco, resulting in the smoke being thicker. but unlike cigarettes, some alcoholic beverages, most of the food we consume, and all the wave-emitting gadgets we coddle, pot does not serve as a cancer causing constituent. can you over do it? sure! if you live a healthy life, and occasionally enjoy some nice, organic greens, will it riddle your lungs with cancer cells? fuck no! if you have preexisting respiratory problems such as asthma or chronic bronchitis, should you be a habitual smoker? obviously not, but to think you will die from a joint, or live forever from avoiding one... is pretty damn stupid. maybe you should stay away from the stuff.

i could go on, and on, and on, and on, and... i'd rather you just hear from varying sources, especially ones more pragmatic than i. a suggestion, if i may, is to start with a canadian documentary titled the union: the business of getting high. you can stream it here. i'm not saying to instantly believe everything you hear, but be open and if you're skeptical, google that shit. i'm not telling everyone to light up, but there's no reason doing so should be a crime... though years of lies and misinformation (on a lot of topics) from our governments definitely should be.

something to talk about.

alright, here's a hypothetical scenario i'd like you to imagine. yes, you. it will take no more than fifteen minutes of your time, probably less than ten. so put on your favourite ambient or contemplative album, and explore a plausible, but not definite, possibility. granted, the plausibility level of this scenario goes up if you are capable of imagining that you're living as a member of future generations. but if you insist on being you, so be it. you'll just have to pretend what i'm about to describe is real, which, judging by today's "reality tv" content, shouldn't be too difficult.


you wake to neighbourhood cries, which seem to be coming from everywhere. confused, you turn on your television. there's a terrible infomercial on the screen... you fell asleep watching the shopping channel again. after a moment of orientation, you realize that what appears to be a knife with three vibrating blades, could not possibly be reason for all this commotion.

changing the channel, you're instantly bombarded with fast scrolling headlines and flashing news updates. through what can only be described as syndicated chaos, four words instinctually pop out from all the mess: END OF THE WORLD!... commence phase one of this scenario. what's you're initial reaction? seriously. turn off you tv, and on the black screen imagine reading that headline, but not in any possible media/marketing gimmick sense. instead, in the truest use of these words, ever. what is your first thought? it doesn't matter how you answer... yet, because at this exact moment you're body & mind would probably be paralyzed by instinct.

so the apocalypse is imminent and, surprise surprise, it's not four archaic, christian dudes on horseback. instead it's something much more tangible, and essentially believable. i always like to fantasize that for some reason the moon begins to draw nearer to earth, leading to an eventual collision... but seeing as i just gave the followers of christ, shit, i'll go with something even more believable. a cosmic disaster hollywood has made millions ($) from: meteor strike!

now, let's be somewhat hopeful and imagine a bit of cosmic mercy for homo sapiens, not that we necessarily deserve it, but for the purposes of this scenario. let's say, fifteen years before it's estimated impact, most leading world governments have discovered but not shared, this looming catastrophe. the sporadic leaks by various sources are covered up, or smeared to detach validity, and economies keeping humming. i'm not a political expert, but i would imagine most of the preliminary plans put in place during this period, would not include the vast majority of not only our human populous, but very little of all life currently on the planet. still love capitalism? if you, and your family, and your friends and your friends' family have the money, or maybe just the status, you could be fortunate enough to qualify for inclusion in the very select, early stages of operation salvation. but i wouldn't sit comfortably just yet. for starters, if you find yourself in this position and you know any other person that isn't, don't expect a lot courtesies when they're inescapably informed. not that this need bother you, shit, you will survive! ...or will you?

regardless of government plans, ten years before impact the story breaks, and the evidence is undeniable. this is the very morning you've awoke to. breaking news of direct, indisputable proof that this world will cease to exist. wishing you would have watched that triple-bladed knife ad, just a little longer? for a large number of people, it's around this point that god enters, either as a question, or sense of faith. being an atheist, i'm not entirely sure how most would experience or express this situation. obviously there are extremes, such as abandoning god or handing yourself over to it (them). but i am not equipped with the tools of blind faith, and do not qualify to truly speculate on the minds of superstitious believers. *as a disclaimer, if you know for certain that you are someone who will simply "give their self to god", you probably won't be interested in the rest of this post's contents. sorry if i've wasted your time and i wish you all the best. you're crazy religious antics will not be forgotten, as survivors set off to write a brand new chapter in history. instead, your zany acts would make wonderful bedtime stories, and colourful rhymes for children, as they adjust to life in space.

for those of you still with me, welcome to phase two of this scenario, or how i stopped worrying and learned to adapt. sometime after worldwide realization, a key series of events will unfold, resulting in the single largest revolt ever. this globalized revolution will be strongly defined by the previously mentioned series of events, and will serve as a potential final test for humanity. picture how you believe the world will react, and how the ensuing revolt(s) would ravel. can you imagine peaceful, rational & intelligent considerations, or are you bound to accept the doom of humans, and the fall of earth & all known life.

bringing us to this scenario's third and final phase: zero hour. at the moment life on the planet is extinguished, there will only be two possible outcomes. either some life managed to escape oblivion, or it all went down together. which would you rather have invested your time and faith in? which would you rather fight for, even if it meant dying a little before everything else? that being said, a fight fueled by ignorance will only lead to failure, and in all likelihood the end of human history (most especially under these circumstances).

as an alternative, we could begin to educate more vigorously, weeding out ignorance before we're forced to confront it on a global scale, with apocalyptic consequences. a lot of sacrifice will be necessary, but the majority of it will only be required from our apparently precious time. from this day forward i purpose that a new and singular divide be made, for us humans to cling to until we realize we don't need to divide things. this separation is to be made between survivalists and nihilists. let's be honest now, if you believe there is something better waiting for you in a mystical realm, than to be a part of the life which is capable of imagining such a fantasy, you are first abundantly naive and second ignorantly nihilistic. life becomes meaningless if it has no home, no matter what imaginary creator you hope to spend an afterlife with.

can we please stop tolerating extreme ignorance now? i'd like to know some remnants of life could have the opportunity of post earth survival, and that world war three won't be something my grandchildren have to live through... or worse, die as a result of. instead, let's send our story here...

vancouver canucks.

as a life-long fan of the canucks i can only assume that i am one of many, who wonder when it is that lord stanley's cup might finally be obtained by the franchise, making a long awaited return to the city. following this team has been a relationship of conflict, and this seems to speak for a generalization of the vancouver & west coast persona. it's a neutrality that exists in areas of acceptance toward freewill & free speech, but that lack a deep rooted history. maybe we're getting there though.


i am almost certain that at nine years of age, i suffered my first heart-attack witnessing the canucks '94 game seven loss vs the rangers. then we had to watch the rise and fall of the new canucks, a period in the team's history i will admit didn't receive my full support. and now, after a lot of beta testing, we have canucks v2.0 with some potential. but how much drive? roberto luongo is clearly a good goaltender, but obviously cannot win games alone. there are few goaltenders who that can significantly carry teams during either season or playoff (martin brodeur, patrick roy, et al.) and luongo just doesn't seem to fit the mold. he shouldn't have to either. plenty of teams have done exceptionally well, including winning the stanley cup, without a game-winning goalie in their roster. i would have to do some serious research, but feel safe assuming that there are less than ten goaltenders in nhl history that match this adjective. what our current captain needs is a strong team in front of him, something that eludes the organization every year.

but what's this? those quirky swedish, sedin twins are now leading a rag-tag team that's either a sheer last resort, or pure hockey genius. the canucks have amassed the most goals in the western conference, and henrik sedin is in a battle with alexander ovechkin for the art ross trophy. they've clinched their division title (again!) and have the best home record in club history. so can they do it? i don't know... i do know, that when i think about how teams like tampa bay, carolina, and anaheim have hoisted the cup i realize just how bad i want it as a fan. if i die before witnessing a vancouver hockey club win the top award, of the only sport i really care enough to follow, i will feel a slight remorse.

i'm trying to believe... but as i type this watching tonight's game vs the avalanche, we're down 3-2 starting the third period. i'm beginning to question our comeback abilities. it's no way to be the best, and probably won't win any 'cups.

analog bell service.

i'm a reclusive creature. my unbelievably understanding girlfriend puts up with a lot of down time, though i think she enjoys most of it... well, some of it anyway. i prefer to stay home, smoking pot and finding either something to laugh hysterically about, or to blow my mind. i prefer to have a decent home sound system and a good screen, for which I purchase the movies I want to watch, and avoid both renting & paying ludicrous amounts at theatres. it's okay, i probably think your life's sad too... jokes!

but there are some events i will venture out from my dwelling to partake, and usually those are concerts of various musical entities. even for these i have a theoretical equation to decide which concerts i will actually attend. the band, the price, the venue, the opening band, the band's last album released, and who i may run into can all factor in the solution, but each has a separate value. one exception i occasionally make is for local bands, and occasionally it really pays off.

admittedly, the first time i ever witnessed the band analog bell service my initial reason for being there was to attempt courting an attractive female, who knew the group members as she was a local independent, music reporter. so i wasn't totally out to take in a new band, though i did trust her musical taste. i did get a little drunk and can't recall the opener's name, but i do know i enjoyed them. then five guys took the stage and, instantly judging this book by it's cover, i liked them. then they started to play, and play and play. by the time they were finished, i loved them. i didn't get anywhere with the girl, but i'm going to say it was for the best.

now, their sound isn't anything totally new, yet it is distinct & extremely thought provoking. not to mention catchy as fuck! they're also pretty decent dudes. two artist brothers, a stand-up comic, an energetic multi-instrumentalist (who was absent the first show), a talented horn musician (occasionally) and an american drummer (w/ a sweet 'fro). there is so much life & enthusiasm when they take the stage, it's infectious.

story behind the name: the band practice(d) in an upper level loft, for which there is no doorbell. as way of alerting them to your arrival the guys rigged a long string out the window, attaching it to a bell that would ring in view of the members during jams. the result not just a functioning arrival alert, but a pretty great moniker.

not only do i hope this post brings you to investigate analog bell service but to perhaps head out and experience some of the local bands in your area. get away from those terrible clubs with talentless djs and find some real musicians making music you can connect to. they deserve the support and will appreciate it immensely.

S.O.S. (save our species)

this is my case for change. for revolution. for progress & evolution.


the clear & inescapable truth is that this planet cannot be saved. different species and elements from it can be preserved for varying lengths of time, but in the end all we can really save is ourselves. this isn't nihilistic thinking, actually it's a genuinely positive way to perceive life.


having gratefully experienced what can only be described as a relatively fortunate adolescence, during which i was afforded opportunities of both luxury and austerity, i understand if my perspective toward the "value" of life is questioned. and if i felt i could keep anyone (including myself) reading, as i discussed my myriad musings/theories/arguments or retorts (basically arguing with myself, online) i would most certainly do so. but it isn't going to happen. instead i simply ask that my views not be discarded from possibility or worse, condemned. rationality, education & awareness are our future's greatest allies, and we really need to utilize these evolutionary wonders.


and that's what we are. what everything that finds away to survive on this planet is. wonders of evolution. miracles of life. there's constant debate over what constitutes as tangible evidence of evolution, the irony being that the idea of evolution is evidence of evolution itself. if there is any sort of "path" or "plan," evolution is precisely what would validate this prehistorically ingrained notion & generally agreed upon feeling. it only makes sense.


but the planet which spawned and nurtures each of us cannot not evolve. planets are not alive, they have life. life has two options: live, or die. and even then, it isn't exclusively life's decision. given the opportunity and gradually expanding probability of survival though, do we not, acting as our own proof of possibility, owe it to ourselves, our past and our future to clarify & claim enlightenment? i can't see how not. if you can honestly tell me that you disagree, i would honestly tell you, you're wrong. because you would be.


so where does this leave earth? it leaves it exactly where it belongs, as the single most astounding, remarkable location we have yet witnessed in all the known universe. and if that doesn't impress, i couldn't imagine what would. we have the greatest classroom in existence. let's appreciate it. learn from it. grow with it and preserve it. in short, let's love it. but let's also understand it's cosmic fragility & limits of endurance, thus requiring some form of contingency plan for as much of life's potential as possible. in other words, at some point our species will need another option(s) if we have any hope of keeping life from this terra firma alive.

i get to thinking.

hey! no, i didn't die from the flat or a whole twenty-eight day stint of pure alcoholic behaviour. but i did stop writing. i haven't written much for a long time. months. a few words here and there, but nothing notable.


here i am though. back to typing. more words. i might as well, otherwise i'm just talking to myself... and my poor girlfriend.


so, what have i been thinking, you don't ask? a lot. it's what i do. it's what i like to do. usually. i indulge the comforts of ignorance at times, but regardless, i do not condone it. hypocritical, you say? yes. but unfortunately, contradiction is an ignorance of mine. i am certain that contradictions are central to the experience of contrast in consciousness. but observing and theorizing how/why on a consequential scientific level, and in completely comprehensible language, is difficult. to say the least. and so, my mind is drowned out by sounds of expression through extremes and impressions i feel ignorant towards, in an overlay of unification that only seems too probable not to exist. it's shades of grey, but knowing this and experiencing it two different roads. black and white is a difficult genetic trait to shake, but as of recently i've witnessed episodes of life which appear promising that this very evolution could be taking place. in "free" thinking/practice countries, of course. that's all i can truly observe.


at any rate... what the fuck am i saying? i'm saying we all need to keep ourselves in check. no one's going to do it for us, and no one should have to. and the only real way we can ever progress as a species is to quite literally "come together" (not cum, you perverts) and evolve.


we will not always be human. by that, i mean future generations (given enough time) will not continue to be classifiable as homo sapiens. we will evolve. we must ensure this is done with the utmost care, attention and foresight as currently, and continually possible. we've got to love ourselves and each other to do so.


until next time...